I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
