Christians are straight up FREAKS
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
