so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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