Porn is love you can see.
i just had sex bonerless
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They have beer where we have blood.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
