omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
