I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
