dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
