Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
