Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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