I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
