Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
