I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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