Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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