Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I party with great urgency now.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
