I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
