I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
