I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
