My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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