I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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