My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
