Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your face is a jimmy john
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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