question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
