Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
