I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Duck Duck Cougar?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just invented taco cereal.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
