got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
