the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
