i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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