my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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