Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i believe in u and ur pee
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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