Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
