have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
