I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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