I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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