I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
