worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
