i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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