I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If its not for food we ain't going out.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
