i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
