do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
