Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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