you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
