Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
