what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize