I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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