Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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