i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
