im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He has the fingertips of a God
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
