You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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