sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
