my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
